Puffy Vests…Fashion Tragedy

Unless you’re on some sort of expedition (“urban expeditions” don’t count…that’s just assing around in the city, a.k.a. living your life), there is no excuse for a puffy vest. In fact, something to keep in mind is that unless you are fairly tiny, a puffy vest will do nothing but make you look like a fluffy blob.

Plus Size Puffy Vest

Congrats! You look like a puffy lumberjack. You're just missing the faceweasel.

I’m going to guess that the woman in the picture above probably has a pretty nice shape. She is a model, after all. Unfortunately, you would never know that because she’s managed to turn her torso into a rectangle — a puffy plaid rectangle. Is there anything flattering about that? (And this is coming from the girl that loves plaid.)

Plus Size puffy white jacket

I'll refrain from the obvious Stay Puft Marshmallow joke.

Now I’m going to go one step further and make a blanket statement that puffy clothes in general are a bad idea. I’ll excuse it if you live in Minnesota (or the like)…because it can get as cold as a witch’s titty there and the down filling probably comes in handy. (But I still won’t excuse the puffy vests there…because if it’s cold enough that you need that kind of warmth, you shouldn’t skip the arms.)

And here’s a pro tip for the plus-sized: Unless you have an hourglass shape, even closer fitting vests aren’t your friend. Adding any kind of bulk to thick-waisted or apple shapes is generally bad news.

By the way, I’ve started a couple of boards at Pinterest: Wear This, and Don’t Wear That. Check them out! (And yes, my first pins were about the hideous vest issue.)